PRANA

Jasmine May G. De Leon July 26, 2016 Earlier at Coffe Bean I heard a group of people (three of them)  mentioning about polymers or at least that’s what I think.  Oh gosh my teeth now hurts from eating chocolates. Bear the pain, Jas!    It has been a while since I blogged. hay okay. so now what. nothing really aside from the fact that I consistently got half of the items correct in every exam, nothing really. I mean, I have never finished the exams! Yes, both of them. I only finish around 30-40% of them which I am sure and the rest were lucky guesses not because I do not know but because I lack time. I need to strategize! I am the type of person who likes to take time so that I can fully understand and learn but I guess it is time to strategize! Sigh. this is stressing me out. I figure if my study area is like the one I have at home where Stephy always accompany me, then probably I could have gotten a higher score. OH WELL again. I can do this. I have no...

College graduation will be far different from my highschool graduation! I still compare Ateneo from UP. When I was a college freshman, I preferred Ateneo but within my college years, I learned to love UP but now that things will about to end, I am moving towards my Jesuit roots. I am thankful for UP for ways it has honed me but I will never be grateful of how much it let me felt so taken for granted by people and by organizations. I am forever blessed and grateful for my ATENEO roots without it, I will not have the character and attitude to deal with the judgments of UP. Tomorrow is graduation and I CAN NOT WAIT TO END EVERYTHING and NOT SEE EVERYBODY! Let's get this done and over with it. Now, I just want to watch a movie, workout, somehow fix my things but I am not excited for graduation. I have no reason to be excited. I just pray to pass the Chemical Engineering Board Exam this November.

"When I was in college, SOTECH thought that I was not good enough to become a leader..." This line will be included in my speech in the years to come as I prove several people that they have MISJUDGED my accomplishments! Do not get me wrong! I do not want to compare and people have reasons for what they deserve but this time, I think it has gone far too long. I do not know where I lacked. I do not know why. I know it was just a bonus. I was not expecting something like that throughout my service years. I love to serve people and be a leader. I may just have EXPECTED so much to become a recipient but THIS IS QUITE UNREASONABLE for me. I am SAD. I am DISAPPOINTED. I am FRUSTRATED. I am ANGRY because the school I have always been grateful of IS NOT GRATEFUL OF WHAT I HAVE DONE! I JUST DO NOT KNOW! I know a true leader never minds the credit or award but this award is SO PRECIOUS FOR ME because of how much I loveD SOTECH and public service wherein just ONCE...JUST ONCE in m...

I have always love to serve people in ways I know I can and getting recognition is the least of my worries but this time, I think I deserve to be recognize because it's time I truly recognize myself as one. This is my submitted essay. WHY I DESERVE THE PIChE LEADERSHIP AWARD Shared mission. Shared vision. Shared values. Anyone can be a leader but true leadership is never about one person. It is about inspiring others in order to make a difference without asking for anything in return. This Philippine Institute of Chemical Engineers Leadership Award will be the cherry on top of my leadership PIE —Passion, Initiative, Effectivity. Passion. The passion to serve has always been imbibed in me and the mottos “Be the change you want to see in the world” by Gandhi and “MAGIS” which means “Do more” by the Jesuits have always been my guiding rules. Every term break and in times of calamity, I make it a point to volunteer and encourage people to do the same. A major event that de...

In this lifetime, I only have one selfish goal: TO TRAVEL AROUND THE WORLD IN 80 DAYS! When I say travel, I mean backpack! I must do that before I reach 40 but before that I have TO EXPLORE PHILIPPINES before I reach 30. That will be all.

Hello dear blog! When will I ever accept that not everybody can understand? When will I ever accept that I can not please everybody? I still have social issues. Anyway, I blame myself for being misunderstood. I don't blame people. It's my fault why I am an indecisive messed up bad person. It's okay. It will be okay. I am sorry blog for using you only when I am extremely depressed. Last night was the worst but glad I have Jearie and achi to tell the whole story and save my sanity. I am a bad person and will continue to be one. My self-esteem has gone below six feet. I should stop being an over thinker. I hope one day I get to find that cheery old me again. I hope but for now...... I am glad I am still alive.

i terribly want to cry right now. papa left now did mama. i try to be the most useful daughter but everything i do seems so wrong. i terribly want to cry because it has been months since I have been looking for someone to talk to. gad do i want to cry. thank you dear blog for being always there. i know i will die anytime soon and gad I wish it is later or tomorrow. Gad I want to die. if only suicide will not bring me to hell. Dear Lord, when will I ever be okay? i am so fucked up. I am a bad person. I do not deserve to live.