Road to Stable life

 Today is Good Friday.

Unlike the previous holy weeks, it was so easy to fast. Fast on food, fast on social media, fast on gadgets but now, it's like a necessity. 

I got into thinking and while I watch friends the series, what and where do I really want to see myself. 

Life with Mark Gil seems to be blurry for now. Ever since I went to Negros last February, I saw how busy he was and that's what I could ever remember despite the several efforts he did (going to Dumaguete to fetch me, going to Camp Sungayan, going to Bais...) but whatever they were the only conclusion I have is still how busy he was and how his time for me seems to be divided. I still doubt our capacity to take care for each other. 

It also got me into thinking if being in CCC is for me long-term. I still want to learn so much about renewable energy, climate change solutions. I sometimes feel I am in great what I do but it is not the field and I feel not enough when I am into per se department of science and technology or research.

I don't want to blame the pandemic for being the bitch but it always got me to think what if the pandemic never happened? I had two years to cultivate myself as a researcher but it all cam crushing down. Still figuring my way back up.

I know I want to be rich. I want to learn stocks. I want to keep learning about renewable energy and climate change. Perhaps changing division into a more technical division in CCC may be aa game-changer. Probably into Policy Research and Development Division or in Implementation Oversight Division. All I know also is I want to be a plantilla. I want to be permanent and have the benefits of a normal employee...a successful person.

I think it all boils down to how do I define myself as a successful person. I hope to see myself in the climate change space, probably i EDC, DENR,-EMB. Really thinking right now that CCC is a good start but in a different division as soon as probably I can finish my MS. I can still continue with CCC since that's what I told myself then. I think I am being impatient. But what about Mark Gil? I don't know still.