TAKE PRIDE
The last four months were gruesome. I had to battle mentally and emotionally. I still continue to do so. I resigned from being an Area Supervisor at URSUMCO. I took a big risk in leaving a lot of people and my life to pursue a dream I was not sure of. THE UNCERTAINTY KEPT ON KILLING ME! Anxiety every night. I only had one mantra: TO SURVIVE ONE DAY AT A TIME!
I tried to lessen social media. It makes you compare with other people. I somehow failed. Though I always think that it is not the real life.
More than anything I AM GRATEFUL! seven units done for my MASTERS IN CHEMICAL ENGINEERING AT UP DILIMAN! It may seem few for some but for me it is a big deal! Plus I got an UNO in CALCULUS! Thank You Lord! For the past few months I really feel useless. I feel na sayang ako but then again gna think ko na lng na this is a LONG TERM INVESTMENT. One day I will get to achieve! I will get to be on the spotlight!
Now that I am home in Iloilo, I realized what was lacking was I did not have a vision.
Before I entered URSUMCO, I knew what I wanted. I also wanted to be a researcher but then opportunity was not there. Thus, I told myself to get whatever industry experience and if a masters opportunity comes, then go. I thought it was easy. But then, things changed. I got the hang of living in URSUMCO and the people. The stability and comfort took my attention. It was an okay life. It was simple but it was not me. I found myself still reading beyond the books. I love the sugar industry (considering my thesis on this). I love the industry but I did not want frustrations. I did not want regret.
I always had this desire to change the world. I prayed to God that in whatever industry or career I may be, I can change the world. When grad school came, I lost myself. I let the overthinking take control of me. I let the uncertainty of the future take over my present. I lost myself. I kept crying every night. I was not able to finish simple tasks.
I kept on thinking what if I was like most people my age? What if I did not resign? What if I still have a stable job? What if I am still a self-earning independent woman? What if I just bought a dog instead? That's when everything sank. I DID NOT TAKE PRIDE AS A FULL-TIME GRAD STUDENT!
A lot of people would like to have masters. A lot wanted this opportunity and here I am. I should be proud being a grad student! I should be proud that one day, I get to head a REVOLUTIONARY PROJECT and CHANGE THE WORLD! One day, all these will make sense!
I am struggling for now. I am a mess. I am a work in progress. But I am smart. I am hard working. I creative. I am innovative. I am adaptable. I am a survivor and I will be formed. I will be beautiful! I will accomplish! I am successful with my everydays! I am proud of myself!
Padayon, because I am meant for greater bolder things!
I tried to lessen social media. It makes you compare with other people. I somehow failed. Though I always think that it is not the real life.
More than anything I AM GRATEFUL! seven units done for my MASTERS IN CHEMICAL ENGINEERING AT UP DILIMAN! It may seem few for some but for me it is a big deal! Plus I got an UNO in CALCULUS! Thank You Lord! For the past few months I really feel useless. I feel na sayang ako but then again gna think ko na lng na this is a LONG TERM INVESTMENT. One day I will get to achieve! I will get to be on the spotlight!
Now that I am home in Iloilo, I realized what was lacking was I did not have a vision.
Before I entered URSUMCO, I knew what I wanted. I also wanted to be a researcher but then opportunity was not there. Thus, I told myself to get whatever industry experience and if a masters opportunity comes, then go. I thought it was easy. But then, things changed. I got the hang of living in URSUMCO and the people. The stability and comfort took my attention. It was an okay life. It was simple but it was not me. I found myself still reading beyond the books. I love the sugar industry (considering my thesis on this). I love the industry but I did not want frustrations. I did not want regret.
I always had this desire to change the world. I prayed to God that in whatever industry or career I may be, I can change the world. When grad school came, I lost myself. I let the overthinking take control of me. I let the uncertainty of the future take over my present. I lost myself. I kept crying every night. I was not able to finish simple tasks.
I kept on thinking what if I was like most people my age? What if I did not resign? What if I still have a stable job? What if I am still a self-earning independent woman? What if I just bought a dog instead? That's when everything sank. I DID NOT TAKE PRIDE AS A FULL-TIME GRAD STUDENT!
A lot of people would like to have masters. A lot wanted this opportunity and here I am. I should be proud being a grad student! I should be proud that one day, I get to head a REVOLUTIONARY PROJECT and CHANGE THE WORLD! One day, all these will make sense!
I am struggling for now. I am a mess. I am a work in progress. But I am smart. I am hard working. I creative. I am innovative. I am adaptable. I am a survivor and I will be formed. I will be beautiful! I will accomplish! I am successful with my everydays! I am proud of myself!
Padayon, because I am meant for greater bolder things!
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