On a loop

 I feel like my life has been on a loop and it has not been nice.

I failed to finish my thesis on time because I focused so much on ClimateScience.

I wanted to build a career in the climate space but it feels like I am not given any opportunities to prove myself.

I feel like hanggang "volunteer" lng ako. It is very frustrating.

My scholarship will end this month and I am currently looking into jobs.

My employment life is not the best, heck is it good. 

Job hunting years ago destroyed me, my dreams, and my self-esteem. 

It's something I do not want to experience again but it feels like I am going back to that void.

I want to finish my thesis but anxiety and fear take over me I end up being stuck.

Dear Lord, I don't know what to do! I really hope to be of use.

Please, help me.