PRANA

Overthinking a lot lately. I left my job in URSUMCO as Area Supervisor. I left the people I love. I left the place I call home. Currently unemployed and have seven units of masterals in Chemical Engineering in UP Diliman. Masterals which I am unsure if I can finish kay shet so lisod. Now, I am anxious and tired. Being unemployed and holding on an unsure dream is tiring. I am just so unsure of everything and this will take me months to figure out. I can not do much as I keep on missing my life back home and all the what ifs. What if I never left? What if I I get to si Mark everyday? What if I stayed employed? What if I go back? but on the other hand, what if I can do this? what if I finish this and be with mark again? what if I get that scholarship and finish this faster? what if I eventually get a better job?

Isn't weird? I was never considering being a mother. I had never imagined my life to be with someone...that is until I met my Poloy, my Mark Mahinay. I want to be a mother someday. I want to have family with Poloy. I can imagine having kids of our own. Oh I love to see it one day! Having mini me of mini Poloy then them coming up to us an being carried. Oh I do love to see one day Poloy taking care of our babies and putting them to sleep. Oh Lord, that future excites me. I always want to be beside Poloy. I want to grow old with him. Take care of him and show how much I love him. Now we are far away (long-distance relationship). What comforts me is that 1. I know this is temporary 2. We are both reaching for our dreams 3. Mark is the most supportive partner ever! Dear Lord, I am always blessed because of him! Lord, funny how I remember I go to church and thank You for letting me meet him. I remember nag ask ko Nimo, if kung si Mark man gud para nako. Remember ko na nagsulti ko nimo...